Home is Where the Heart is

I'm gonna close down this blog and open a new one. This one is too messy for my liking. Plus the fact some of the old posts are really embarrassing for me to review. I mean seriously, how could I have been such an ass last time?

=.=

I'm proud to say I've changed. For better or for worse, I'll let you guys decide.

I do know that I've become more outspoken,
Less weird,
I do not "manja" anymore,
Am not as weak as I used to,
Less breakable,

And I'm closer to some friends, further away from some. *I guess this is the bad part?*

But either way, all of these; who I am now, what I've become, all the crap I've dragged myself into, all the happiness I've been thru...

All these are by my own decisions.

All those whom I've shut out of my life; those who think me unworthy in theirs, and hence mine, those whom I've let into my life, those that I want to keep next to me from now onwards, those who disowned me, and hence vice versa...

All these experiences have made me stronger and woken me up from that fairytale.

I do not believe life is a fairytale; where you're all goody two shoes and your knight in shining armour on a white horse will come and sweep you away...

Tsk. When has that ever happened to me? Or for most of my friends for that matter.

Life may not be a fairytale; but that doesn't give you the excuse to stop living.
Suck it up. Move on. Go forwards.

Grab your future with your own hands.

Like the word shit. Haha. Why? Because my mum added me on facebook. If I don't add her, she'll just harp on and on about it =.=

The statement I would like to make here is...

Friends who treat friends like shit aren't your friends :)

Full stop. 'nuff said.

So, I was on msn chatting with Sarah my sister and it was just something that i noticed over the past year.

We were just touching on the subject about how close we are to friends and it occured to me that, how much a person tells you stuff depends on how much YOU tell them stuff in the first place.

Take me as an example. *well, who else would there be? XD*

I've always thought that keeping everything to myself would be fine; not telling anyone about what's bothering me, bottling myself up and just sucking it in. Or so I thought.

Back when I was in secondary school, a tuition teacher which I really look up to once said that telling your secrets to someone else means burdening the other person. I really took those words to heart and it reinforced what I already am even more.

But I've also noticed one thing; I became more open once I learn how to tell people my stuff. I just felt...so free and light after telling. And let me tell you, I've only started telling my stuff to only my closest friends; stuff that i'm irked about, stuff that I can't take, stuff that i'm pissed at and stuff that are really embarrassing :p

By that simple act alone, I feel so much more relieved and I notice that by doing that, I just somehow feel closer to that person and that person will, in turn, tell me whatever that's bothering them too.

Back when I kept everything to myself, I've always wanted to help people by being a good listener. Problem was, nobody did tell me anything. Haha. Guess I had it coming.

By telling people how I feel, what I've been through, what's bothering me, what I wish to know from you...All these questions which I would have never asked previously... Well, let's just say it feels different now :p

In fact, someone told someone else who told me that I'm more talkative now. Haha. Thanks for the heads up li shin :p But I'll take it as a compliment :)

I also realize I'm better in crapping stuff up spontaneously now. Like how I was manning the booth for my club last week. While our club activities are dwindling, through some miraculous reason I managed to crap enough to make it sound like a lot. Honestly, I was shocked we had that many activities. Haha! Everyone even managed that I can really talk.

Heck, looking back if someone told me 6 years ago that I'm gonna be this open, talkative and confident of myself, I would have looked at that person with a really weird look and think that he/she is crazy. As a matter of fact, looking back, I feel so embarrassed by how I acted last time. All my decisions are just so absurd sometimes I really wonder what possessed me to do that. Some of my decisions were hasty and stupid too which made me really think...What the HECK was I thinking back then?

Wish I could travel through time and give myself a huge slap. *Sarah please don't slap. You've been virtually slapping me through MSN the whole day as it is :(*

But yea...That's just how things are now xD But I digress. This post was meant to be about how, by telling your secrets others will do the same. Not about how confident I've become.

Again take me for example :p
After telling my whole life's worth of stories *exaggerating*, she in turn told me stuff that she's going through. Stuff that I would never have guessed have been going on for quite some time then. So now the both of us keep each other grounded by having an ear to rant to and someone to slap me whenever I'm being stupid. Thanks, you know who you are :)

With the simple act of opening up to others, you have already allowed them to open up themselves to you. Its only human nature to avoid being hurt. But in order to let someone in, you'll have to make sure YOU are open up to them.

There, done ranting :)

Mel and ting yu, here's your update :p
And yea, sry bout the bday post mel :p i'll get to it. Next year. Hahahahha. Kidding :P

Once I...am not lazy :p

*casts revive level 5 on blog*

*waits a moment*

*fails*

Till next time :p

Besides, the only thing i ever do is rant on my blog. Other than the fact i've lost my pictures and therefore can't post up old pics :(

*digs among pictures from friendster*