Learning to let go of your past isn't easy. Especially if your past is filled with nothing but hurt. Of course, telling people all your past hurt really makes you feel lighter; like you've been cast off all the hurt and pain.
Like you've just been set free.
It really feels like a huge burden has been taken off my shoulders now. Just allowing me to rant and just knowing that you're listening has really helped me :)
Of course, the above is for two people. One who occasionally reads my blog, the other doesn't even come to my blog. Haha.
Thanks.
Just allowing me to rant, allowing me to just crap all the way, listening to whatever shit I say, listening to whatever crap I express.
I am now free.
Literally.
What I am in the past isn't really a proud thing. I was so useless, so weak, so alone; yearning for friendship, being cast aside like yesterday's old shirt.
In fact, as I was typing it out yesterday on MSN it really felt like I was the weakest person ever.
However, what's most important isn't your past. Its how you turn out to be despite your past.
I have learned to tolerate. I have learned to keep everything inside of me because in the past whenever I opened up, I was teared apart and pushed down. I have learned the true nature of human beings, I was shown just how cruel words can be, I also learned that not everyone is your true friend. In fact, their cruel words and actions really hurt me. Deeply. It left a wound that will never recover. It will forever leave me with a habit that two people are currently annoyed at :p
It left me with the inability to express my emotions properly and the inability to tell anyone a secret properly.
But it also left me with the ability to stand up after falling, left me with the ability to just ignore those hurtful words. It left me with the best of friends I could ever have. It left me with a rough judgment of the nature of my friends around me.
Despite all that, I'm still the naive little girl. The little girl who believes that people do have some good in them. I still believe that people are nice despite their actions and words. I still want to believe that; but reality isn't that kind nor forgiving.
Being able to pull myself up, being able to stand up after all that...
Still being able to smile.
Its all thanks to the people whom I've met, and the people who've taught me that sometimes, being smart isn't everything; being rich isn't everything. Being able to smile from your heart; THAT'S something. Being able to truly laugh from your heart. Being able to love, cry and share your experiences with people whom you love and cherish.
THAT'S how rich a person can get. Sure, without money you might not be able to survive. But to me, being rich means all of the above. Imagine that despite having all the money in the world but you can't smile at all.
That's tough.
Of course to SOME people *winks* They've already passed the sad period and have found happiness. Too bad the person whom I'm winking to doesn't read my blog xD
Ah well~ As a "wise" person told me, my past is my past. Its over. What's more important is what I become and how I handle whatever's coming up.
Lol.
Like my AIR topic T_T
And summatives T_T
And all sorts of crap T_T
LIKE MY MOCK OSCE!
AND PBL!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Die. PBL and mock OSCE on monday t.t
24th September 2009
Like you've just been set free.
It really feels like a huge burden has been taken off my shoulders now. Just allowing me to rant and just knowing that you're listening has really helped me :)
Of course, the above is for two people. One who occasionally reads my blog, the other doesn't even come to my blog. Haha.
Thanks.
Just allowing me to rant, allowing me to just crap all the way, listening to whatever shit I say, listening to whatever crap I express.
I am now free.
Literally.
What I am in the past isn't really a proud thing. I was so useless, so weak, so alone; yearning for friendship, being cast aside like yesterday's old shirt.
In fact, as I was typing it out yesterday on MSN it really felt like I was the weakest person ever.
However, what's most important isn't your past. Its how you turn out to be despite your past.
I have learned to tolerate. I have learned to keep everything inside of me because in the past whenever I opened up, I was teared apart and pushed down. I have learned the true nature of human beings, I was shown just how cruel words can be, I also learned that not everyone is your true friend. In fact, their cruel words and actions really hurt me. Deeply. It left a wound that will never recover. It will forever leave me with a habit that two people are currently annoyed at :p
It left me with the inability to express my emotions properly and the inability to tell anyone a secret properly.
But it also left me with the ability to stand up after falling, left me with the ability to just ignore those hurtful words. It left me with the best of friends I could ever have. It left me with a rough judgment of the nature of my friends around me.
Despite all that, I'm still the naive little girl. The little girl who believes that people do have some good in them. I still believe that people are nice despite their actions and words. I still want to believe that; but reality isn't that kind nor forgiving.
Being able to pull myself up, being able to stand up after all that...
Still being able to smile.
Its all thanks to the people whom I've met, and the people who've taught me that sometimes, being smart isn't everything; being rich isn't everything. Being able to smile from your heart; THAT'S something. Being able to truly laugh from your heart. Being able to love, cry and share your experiences with people whom you love and cherish.
THAT'S how rich a person can get. Sure, without money you might not be able to survive. But to me, being rich means all of the above. Imagine that despite having all the money in the world but you can't smile at all.
That's tough.
Of course to SOME people *winks* They've already passed the sad period and have found happiness. Too bad the person whom I'm winking to doesn't read my blog xD
Ah well~ As a "wise" person told me, my past is my past. Its over. What's more important is what I become and how I handle whatever's coming up.
Lol.
Like my AIR topic T_T
And summatives T_T
And all sorts of crap T_T
LIKE MY MOCK OSCE!
AND PBL!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Die. PBL and mock OSCE on monday t.t
24th September 2009
