Home is Where the Heart is

Learning to let go of your past isn't easy. Especially if your past is filled with nothing but hurt. Of course, telling people all your past hurt really makes you feel lighter; like you've been cast off all the hurt and pain.

Like you've just been set free.

It really feels like a huge burden has been taken off my shoulders now. Just allowing me to rant and just knowing that you're listening has really helped me :)
Of course, the above is for two people. One who occasionally reads my blog, the other doesn't even come to my blog. Haha.

Thanks.

Just allowing me to rant, allowing me to just crap all the way, listening to whatever shit I say, listening to whatever crap I express.
I am now free.

Literally.

What I am in the past isn't really a proud thing. I was so useless, so weak, so alone; yearning for friendship, being cast aside like yesterday's old shirt.
In fact, as I was typing it out yesterday on MSN it really felt like I was the weakest person ever.

However, what's most important isn't your past. Its how you turn out to be despite your past.
I have learned to tolerate. I have learned to keep everything inside of me because in the past whenever I opened up, I was teared apart and pushed down. I have learned the true nature of human beings, I was shown just how cruel words can be, I also learned that not everyone is your true friend. In fact, their cruel words and actions really hurt me. Deeply. It left a wound that will never recover. It will forever leave me with a habit that two people are currently annoyed at :p

It left me with the inability to express my emotions properly and the inability to tell anyone a secret properly.

But it also left me with the ability to stand up after falling, left me with the ability to just ignore those hurtful words. It left me with the best of friends I could ever have. It left me with a rough judgment of the nature of my friends around me.

Despite all that, I'm still the naive little girl. The little girl who believes that people do have some good in them. I still believe that people are nice despite their actions and words. I still want to believe that; but reality isn't that kind nor forgiving.

Being able to pull myself up, being able to stand up after all that...
Still being able to smile.

Its all thanks to the people whom I've met, and the people who've taught me that sometimes, being smart isn't everything; being rich isn't everything. Being able to smile from your heart; THAT'S something. Being able to truly laugh from your heart. Being able to love, cry and share your experiences with people whom you love and cherish.

THAT'S how rich a person can get. Sure, without money you might not be able to survive. But to me, being rich means all of the above. Imagine that despite having all the money in the world but you can't smile at all.

That's tough.

Of course to SOME people *winks* They've already passed the sad period and have found happiness. Too bad the person whom I'm winking to doesn't read my blog xD

Ah well~ As a "wise" person told me, my past is my past. Its over. What's more important is what I become and how I handle whatever's coming up.

Lol.

Like my AIR topic T_T
And summatives T_T
And all sorts of crap T_T

LIKE MY MOCK OSCE!
AND PBL!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Die. PBL and mock OSCE on monday t.t

24th September 2009

Not that its a bad thing whatsoever :p

So yea...

Happy Birthday Yee Wen -nee~

This one was from so long ago~
Aha. Take care~ =)
All the best! Hope you're fine and dandy there!

21st September 2009

1.10am xD

edit : I can't post a youtube video here unless I want to block out my cbox. Go google it urself :p The music video's kinda sweet~

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift Official Music Video

After watching the official music video, " You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift, my confidence has dropped to an all time low.

She's.

So.

Pretty.

=S

Ahahaha. Pei Li has a crisis now :p
Sigh. Some people are just born pretty xD

I sound vain now.

Better stop before I end up being bashed by crates of tomatoes.

To-mah-toes.

Toes.

xD

Ok, I'll stop now.

20th September 2009.

Soooo....remember the times when we used to...

1. Ask each other maths question but end up answering it ourselves?
2. You always asking me about simple maths calculation?
3. I mean, I used to hide behind you while playing with Sarah?
4. Go out along with Sarah to buy pao from the nearby shops under the rain?
5. Push the turn to go bathe to each other until Miss Lee came? And read comics while falling asleep xD
   
6. Watch Naruto and Yakitate after tuition?
7. Again, I used to teach you how to play on the piano? Haha. Two successful songs eh?
8. And thanks for reminding me, help me finish up my last minute art folio xD
9. Talk about random stuff xD *neopets* *pokemon* AHAHAHA.
10. be very very very afraid of Pui Man.

Looking back, I feel kinda sad that I used to be like that. Haha. But hey, its part of growing up ;D
I miss those times right now =(

But Dianne, we will never change =)

Thanks to you, I've become stronger and I can now stand up better for myself right now. It is THAT much change dear =)

So anyways.... Here I am to say...

I

Love

You!

=)

Hope you liked the short post. Sorry la, too tired to think and reflect. Haha. Reflect.

:x

Sorry.

xD

Take care dearie~ Sorry its a day late.

We're all missing you~

Its 2am btw =P
12th September 2009

Right. So I've decided its time to make a bucket list! :D
Lol. This idea might have contributed to the fact that I've always wanted to do a bucket list but have never bothered to or I'm just too darn lazy xD

My bucket list is going to include long term and short term goals.

Sooooo....I need help! Gimme ur suggestions. LOGICAL ones please. Nothing too disturbing either ;p

1. Study AT LEAST 3 hours per day
2. Go on a road trip with just friends
3. Bungee jumping!
4. Travel to Japan for spring
5. Go mountain climbing
6. Learn how to rollerblade
7. *private* ;p
8. Stop going onto facebook so much >_>
9. Go on a holiday at least once a year
10. Travel to Venice!
11. See all the wonders of the world
12. Aiya, travel around the world la ;p
13. Go on a soul searching trip
14. TAKE A PICTURE WITH P5. EVERYONE. Haha
15. On the topic of pictures, take a picture of the night sky. With stars!!
    
16. Watch the sun rise. Haha. I always fail to wake up
17. Finish all the storybooks that I've bought but are yet to be opened
18. *private*
19. Have a reunion party with my primary friends ;D
    
20. Look for my long lost friend ;(
21. Learn how to cook an extravagant dish :D *Maggi mee or eggs are NOT extravagant ;p*

That's all I can think of. I need...4 more? Haha. Planning to 25 to start with.
Suggestions suggestions~

And its a nice day to blog too.

9.9.2009

Hmmm...does this mean I'll need 99 things on my list? @.@

Too bad its only 7.04 pm now. =P Instead of 9.09pm

One particular sensitive issue has just been bugging me lately >.<

When will this end? ><

Ah...the craziness and madness has just begun t.t

My legs are aching, my back is aching, my head is aching...

And I still have PBL to do.
Elective form to submit.
VARIETY NIGHT TO PREPARE

AAAA! I FORGOT TO PREPARE MY QC BOARD! T_T

Shall just scribble stuff :p

9 days and counting.

2nd September 2009

Sometimes all we need to do is unwind and relax.
The collection of too much stress isn't that good for the body, mind and soul.

Had the most amusing nightmare ever. Dreamed of a tsunami >_>

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


I just had the most relaxing holiday. Not exactly relaxing since I was hoping to catch up on my sleep during the past 3 days to no avail due to the constant traveling and my mum saying, " If you wanna sleep you might as well stay at home!".

During the long drives from west to south, and south to east, and east to west, it made me think.
Of course, added on with something I've been reading about choices and how it affects the future, it REALLY made me think.



Because, during the crossroads of my life, I had to take totally different paths. For example:

1. Should I skip the PTS thing? In the end, I chose to skip standard 4. But if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to meet all my lovely friends right now =) But imagine, your life without me...It will be either pretty peaceful...or pretty boring xD Please make me happy and say that it'd be pretty boring.
2. The next huge one was when I was about to enter secondary school. I actually put SMK Seri Petaling. My mum made me change it to SMK Seri Saujana. Haha. So Dianne, thank my mum xD If I went to SMKSP, I'd be with my primary school friends. But, not going to SMKSS would mean that I would never have made so many friends and the few special ones whom I call my sisters :D Tsing would have been a lonely girl and Mel would be...er...sitting under an apple tree. *K.K Chan inside joke* Haha!
   
3. Of course, I had actually persuaded Xiao Foong to change it to SMKSS. Imagine if she did. I might not be able to sit next to you at all Dianne. And as you've mentioned in your blog...Well, the rest is history ;D
4. The decision to change classes in form 4. If I did, I'd be extremely close and stuck and attached to Dianne and Sarah. But being away from Dianne meant that I had to stand up for myself. Of course, I had Steph to support me then :D She was whom I learnt how to be sarcastic from :p So, for those who knew me before that, they are either sad that I've changed so much, amused that I HAVE changed that much or are just simply speechless :p
5. Next would be what to do after SPM. A levels of course. But what if I were assigned to a different class? A class that isn't PM4? I wouldn't be able to meet all my whacky friends in college then :) To know that there are people like this. Haha. Hyped up like Vienna *cough E Li too *cough*, more sarcastic than me *cough Ca Men cough*, and everyone else :) Carr Men and I are kinda different afterall, despite sharing the same birthday, BUT we do share similarities every now and then :)
6. Wohoo...Next would have been either IMU or Monash. Wouldn't wanna mention any specifics here for fear of insulting various parties *cough IMU cough*

Welll....that's the main crossroads are mentioned here...

:p

Such an emo post ><

Shall now post an idiotic picture.

Don't laugh ya...

I SAID DON'T LAUGH!!

31st August 2009

I think I've scolded you 3 times d :p

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOUR FLIGHT HAS CHANGED TO A DAY EARLIER!!! T____T

Aaanyways, the stuff I wrote in the sms and mail are too mushy and private to be on this blog :p

So, take care :) I'll post a better blog post after my exams :)

Take care and all the best k? :D

27th August 2009

I read in a magazine today that we should always try and keep in touch with our friends; no matter how busy we are. For example, wake up maybe about an hour earlier and finish your stuff earlier so that you can spend time with your friend. It doesn't mean you need to meet up and hang out; it can just be a short sms or a phone call.

Really meaningful.

But you know how we are. We'd most probably think, " Oh, maybe he/she is having his/her exams now. Better not disturb".
Truth is, I'd rather be disturbed just for a moment. Because, that "disturbance" shows that my friend still cares.

Of course, I'm guilty for not doing that. Its always nice to hear from someone you THOUGHT has forgotten all about you. For example, Woan Yiing smsed me on my birthday. And I thought she forgot all about me. So touched now xD

It was just a simple sms saying "Happy Birthday" yet it meant a lot to me. Call me a fool but hey, lets just say I'm easily touched. Maybe its because of my upbringing or my past sad childhood :p

Yea, sad childhood. Soooo cliched xD

Aaanyways, I hope this post has given you a lot to think about. Gotta go rush my AIR topic now ><

26th August 2009

Today was a meet up with Tsing, Yee Wen, Yan Leng and Steph.

:D

Photos up when i'm free :p

Was a farewell thing for Yee Wen. First we went paobing!
But I think eating ice on an empty stomach is the worst thing to do. Since I only had a bun for lunch, my stomach didn't feel that good ><

Then we went for Yuan's steamboat :D
Of course, they took away the scallops :(
Sad d :(

But had fun eating the funny fish paste noodle thingi. But, my stomach still didn't feel too good. Even till now :(
See Yee Wen? ITS FOR YOUR SAKE. Now my stomach is suffering t.t

Moral of the story? EAT LUNCH. Haha. Don't eat ice when you haven't had lunch t.t

Also, Lai Mun called us in the middle of Yuan's. Durian ice-cream and cookies and cream! :D
:s And that's when my tummy didn't feel ok again ><

Funniest part is that Daniel and Tsing had a prawn shelling competition. NO HANDS. Haha. Will post the video in parts.

Fave quote of the day:
Which I heard from Tsing.

Lai Mun: Its easier to keep fat than keep fit.

There was one more but I forgot xD

Oh yea. There is. This one is courtesy of Yan Leng.

Apparently Lai Mun went island flipping xD
And Tsing will WORSHIP lai mun if she goes island hopping...I mean flipping, via swimming and survives. So Lai Mun? Tahulah apa nak buat.

Jokes aside, its time to bid another good friend adieu.

First I had to say bye to Mel.
Then Dianne.
And now Yee Wen :(

Of course, those who are still in Malaysia albeit on another island altogether doesn't count. So...sorry la Lai Mun and Tsing xD

Yea...So Yee Wen, a.k.a horse lover.
Take care and all the best :)
Sorry cuz I might not be able to send you off in the airport :(

Take care darling <3
:)

21st August 2009

It was a miscalculation on my part.

Now I will need to study, freak out and I can't join treasure hunt and track trip.

I feel like exploding, crying and just break out into a fight right now.

Anyone wanna go into a fist fight with me? Verbal fights are fine by me.

I just wanna give myself a reason to shout at somebody

><

20th August 2009

1. You'll most probably die from stress before graduating.
2. Paracetemol a.k.a is your best friend
3. Besides your lecture notes, the library and anything that doesn't involve fun.
4. Oh, that includes the MMS too.
5. You'll suffer and worry constantly about your exams, PBL, CSU and your AIR topic all at once.
6. Worry about your electives which means that you'll need to be attached to a hospital for ONE MONTH.
7. Which is during your holidays btw.
8. Which also means you'll need to see your grouchy mentor which you've never seen since the dawn of time.
9. Which ALSO means you don't have any holidays at all.
10. BECAUSE your holidays are spent doing your elective.
11. Minus the fact you get a few measly days of holidays because of the CNY.
12. That you'll love Malaysia for its multiple public holidays since the yellow shaded boxes in your calendar marked "SCHOOL HOLIDAY" no longer applies to you.
13. That you'll wish that you stay near your uni cuz that will mean that you can wake up 5 minutes before anything and still be on time.
14. That you'll be eating unhealthily despite being a med student.
15. That you'll constantly see pictures of food being compared to different lesions and wounds.
16. That you'll miss your social and personal life all at once.
17. That you wish you can have someone to rant all your problems to.
18. That you will sometimes wonder, "Am I prepared to suffer for the rest of my life for my dreams?"
19. That you'll begin to re-evaluate your whole life's values.
20. That you'll type out 20 random things about what being a med student is like.

Haha. Of course, number 19 really applies to me. Re-evaluating your life values ain't easy. And its just a small step into the world of the 'adults'. Right now, I'm just an immature kid who's living in a life filled with adults and older people. =P

Growing up ain't easy. No one ever said it was. Maturing and growing up are two different things that are one. =(

Wish someone gave me a warning ><

17 August 2009

Do you put a freaking music video on blogger anyway???

A video from youtube I mean ><

Anyway, until someone tells me how, I'll just put the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfR7EHvX0_U

Our local music scene is really good =D

They're just unappreciated =(

16th August 2009

Next stop?

Study for my summative T.T

Added on with the celeb for Yee Wen's departure. But, Tsing and Lai Mun aren't here =(

Lolz. I've noticed that the size of gatherings with old friends are getting smaller in number.
Less people are around to disturb, I mean, hang out with.

But with new places and new experiences, comes with new people to disturb, I mean, hang out with. =D

For example...

In the library,

Its fun to disturb, I mean, study with people like Wolf who has a truck load of colour pens =D
And people like Aku when he looks so blur and sometimes you get to hear unbelievable stories of how he got locked out of his own car twice.
With Yi Wen, we can always tease Aku together =D

With E Li, you can always make fun of her. And just...study with her. Yes, study. What else can I do other than bullying, er, I mean, studying with her?

Then there's Esther, Guan Teck and Kevin. Tsk tsk. Guan teck is so easy to bully especially if Esther's around =P

So, by moving on, we get to meet new people. Experience the world, and overcome hardships along the way =)

Hardships are just a part of life. We confront it, and conquer it!

Summative? HERE I COME!

15th August 2009

This 101st is dedicated to Dianne.

As she's mentioned in her blog, this time, it really feels like she's leaving.
The previous time she was only gone for about half a year.

Now she's leaving for a good 2 whole years; which by then, I might be overseas.

><

And she's leaving in approx. 1 hour + time. Its already 9.54pm.

This was us before you left the last time.

Sorry I couldn't send you off this time =(

Take care and all the best =)

Words are not needed amongst the best of friends~
quoted by Me.

Haha.

As proven by how we manage to win every pictionary ;D

Steph...apparently you need to spend more time with Sarah. Haha.

13th August 2009

Went out the whole day of both days.

Thanks for everything guys! I love you guys! =)

Thanks to the PM4-ians for the huge cake xD
It was almost spoilt to Carr Men when you guys walked past her but she's so blur anyway. Lala~

Thanks to Dianne, Sarah, Steph and Pui Man for taking time to watch me eat is Zenmai sushi. HAHA. While I slowly savour my food xD
And for playing pictionary. *Steph, remember coughing?*
And for playing that ridiculously hard and creepy boardgame. AND, thanks aunty, *sarah, if u're reading this, help me remind your mum once again* for making me the traitor.
And for staying up till 2am to finish the game.

Not to mention kicking me out to the balcony. Alone. At night. With only my plant and Tigger to keep me company =(

Lolz.

And that was on the 8th.

On the 9th, Jun Beng had a gathering for Dianne's farewell. Benjamin, Hong Kheng, and Sarah came along too.
We watched G.I Jones =)

Which was...okla...
The best part was to make fun of Jun Beng. Maybe it was a good thing Stephen wasn't there and Hong Kheng had to leave early.

Otherwise, Jun Beng might be teased so much he might be suicidal.

Carr Men, THERE'S your patient.

xD


Once again. THANKS SO MUCH GUYS!

Pictures will be uploaded when i'm not lazy xD

9.8.2009

I'm no longer the timid and quiet 'freak' that I was a few years ago.

Wow. Now whenever you mention that Pei Li used to be quiet, you'd get the ' What the heck are you talking about' look.

xD

Don't know if its a good thing or not >_>

3.8.09

Is the question that Li Zhen typed.

That question strikes deep in me, as I too wonder...

What DOES love mean?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CSU tomorrow at 10.30am =(
Having breakfast with Sarah at 8!

Since Dianne, Steph and Pui Man FFK-ed us =(

YOU OWE US FOOD!!! D=
Especially Milo, eggs and toast~

Yum....

I'm hungry =(

And its only 11.52pm on the 2nd of August 2009

=(

Haha.

To diss all robbers --"

This week was the most cheh one ever --"

I lost 100 bucks, and my bro got his whole bag stolen. In it, there's his handphone.

..................................................................................................

Sigh.

What has the world come to --"

2nd August 2009