Home is Where the Heart is

Lady GaGa is awesome. With a capital A. Don't know what's with the huge commotion over her being a guy or smth =.=

Get off her back people. Yeesh.

On a side note, Glee's gonna sing her song, bad romance! Its FREAKING AWESOME!




Unfortunately due to copyright issues, the song which is done by the glee cast isn't on youtube. Go google around. You'll find it somewhere... :p

On another side note, Tsing, Lai Mun and Yee Wen are back! :D
Welcome back guys :)

Its ok Mel. We love you :p
And get well soon melly :)

Drink plenty of water. Not too much though.

When things feel lonely, know that you have a friend who's willing to listen.

*shall now be a little perasan and say this*

Me :D

P.S Justib Bieber is sooo overrated >_>

*sigh*

Its really hard to keep two worlds from clashing; especially if the people from those two worlds are, pardon the pun, worlds apart.

So...its hard not to feel left out. Heck, I'd be lying if i said I don't feel left out whenever I see one side doing things without me and discussing it all over the place.

Facebook is like a double edged sword to me. You see things that you wanna know, you see things that you don't wanna know; things that hurt you deep. Maybe that's why people just delete their contacts from their friend list. I'd understand why they did that. Sometimes, their statuses...the pictures...the discussions they have..it really hurts.

I've learned to brush that aside, just ignore it. But heck, I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt me at one point.

At this point, you're already wondering if are they really your friends, are they taking you for a fool or something. And of course, in times like these, you come to really know who your true friends are :)
















Mwahahahaha. I just killed your bandwidth :p

More pics when I find them. Amazing huh? My blog has been devoid of pics for so long :x

Thanks for cheering me up, person who will never read my blog :p

Or to be more specific, my mum :)

*belated mother's day dedication*

Let's start with the sappy stuff :D

I remember back when I was very young, other than the weekends, I rarely see my parents.
They had to work day and night just to supply for the family, so, I stayed with my grandparents. The only time I could see them was if they actually came home early for dinner. I remember straining my ears, trying to pick up the sound of the lock being opened at the front gate. I also recall calling my parents to see if they're coming back for dinner.

During the days when they would come back early for dinner, *my parents and grandparents live in separate houses but just across the road*, they would stay till they tuck me in bed at night. And that would be typically be about 10pm? Right after they've had their dinner, I would play around with them till its time to sleep.

I only started 'not sleeping' in my grandparents house when I was about in high school? Even then, there were times when my bro and I had to sleep with my grandparents because my parents had to work late nights.

Once their business flourished, we had slightly easier times. Now we could spend the whole weekends together, including Saturdays. Back then, I only looked forward to Sundays cuz that's the only time I could really spend time with them.

*This is turning out to be more of a parent's day dedication than a mother's day dedication*

And here is where it really turns out to be a mother's day dedication.

I still remembered on one occasion when I was really young and they took me out for a grocery shopping trip. It was a weekday.

As the supermarket was about to close, we exited with our purchases. And I saw a toy rabbit.
Me being a kid, wanted it but my mum said that they're closing soon so...no rabbit. Haha. I just put it back and walked away with that sad face :p No crying though, I was a good girl :p

What do you know? My mum bought that rabbit for my birthday, which was 2 weeks later. If I'm not mistaken.

In primary school, I sucked at history. Bad. And my mum was the one who slowly taught me how to memorize the emperor's name. You know...the sultan thingi. Haha.

Of course, in secondary school I was slightly rebellious and my mum put up with my attitude. Making sure I don't go out of control at the same time. My grades were getting worse but my mum encouraged me to do better. Thanks to her, I got an A for my add maths. Something I never achieved since form 4. Oh, and she taught me accounting so that I could ace my KH back in form 3. I was THAT BAD.

Recently in IMU, I was really fooling around and my grades suffered because of that.
Only my mum supported me and admonished me for my fooling around but knew that I learned from my mistakes.

At that point of time.

She was the one who tried to cheer me up by ignoring work for just one day, and just spending that whole day just being with me.

The more recent one, we went to IKEA and walked around :p

Even though it may look like nothing big to you guys, it really meant a lot to me.
That my mum would take off from work for one whole day just to spend time with me and cheer me up really meant a lot to me.

So, mum?

Happy Mother's Day :)

I'm the type who can't really express my feelings through actions and words out loud...so...

Thanks for everything that you've done for me.
Thanks for being there for me everytime I needed you.
Sorry that I've hurt you so many times..
Sorry for every wrong doing that I've done for all these years.

I love you mum :)

Scratch all three options. NONE are possible now =.=

My old GP doesn't accept students either :(

And my dad's friend isn't replying. Most prob overseas in fact.

SIIIGGGHHHHH.

Any GP willing to accept me? Haha

Looks like option 2 is out :(

The GP said they had bad experiences with medical students so they're no longer accepting medical students :(

T____T

Only option 1 and 3 left. Praying hard that option 1 will come true.

And tingyu, option 3 sounds tempting but its in seremban. Haha. And I don't think the doctor is really open to the idea. They haven't replied my dad until now =\

*SIGH*

Title says it all.

Dilemma with a capital D

D:

Should I go to a doctor who works in a private clinic? or a doctor who works in a private hospital?
Allow me to further elaborate the condition.

IMU wants us to do a general practitioner posting, meaning we get attached to a GP for 1 week. Now..I have 3 choices.

1. A family doctor who I used to go to back in Sri Petaling. Been seeing him since young but I kinda stopped when I grew up and moved. Unfortunately his clinic is pretty quiet compared to before.
   
2. Another GP i recently go to. By recently I mean the past few years. His clinic is busier. I think. And he provides FOMEMA. The maid thingi. More hi tech you can say :)
3. ANOTHER GP who works in a private hospital. My dad's friend's wife. But this ain't in a clinic. Its in a hospital =\

Gaaaah. I have another week before I submit the form but i'm still thinking :(

Which reminds me. It looks like no one reads blogs anymore. It used to be the hype back in our high school and college days. But looks like nobody blogs anymore.

Even those who promise to update their blogs after they've left for overseas *cough Mel and Yee Wen cough*

Oh well. Guess they're busy :)
Unlike me :)

Oh crap. Looks like I have to get my butt off the World Wide Web :x

Warning: The post below could give you confusion like how a psyduck does. If you don't know what's a psyduck, google it.

So...what makes us nice people?

People who treat other people nice? People who do everything others say? People who don't fight back? People who are sweet? People who say what others want to hear?

I shall now be a little thick face and say that people has called me a nice person.
But I beg to differ.

I am not your typical "nice" person. I behave like a gangster half the time back in high school, I'm a rebel, I skip classes, *shhh, dun let my mum know but i do skip lectures :p* , I LOVE dressing like a gangster, I dislike people, I curse alot back then.

And the worse part is..

I DON'T DO MY HOMEWORK.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Bet that last line went kinda potong huh? xD

But you get what I mean. Hehe. Looking back, I kept saying to myself...WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Of all the stupid things and situations I could have gotten myself into.. Tsk tsk.

BUT, we learn from our mistakes :)

I am proud to say I am NOT a nice person, but generally I can be nice. Haha.

I love my friends and family and I really appreciate every second I can spend with them. Unless you're one of those people whom I don't like.

Someone posted on her status saying along the lines that we should be nice because you know...there's evil in the world. Etc etc. Nice-ness is becoming rare and stuff :x

I agree with her statement but how do you define whether is a person nice?

For example, let's compare two people. One person is really outspoken while the other doesn't really say whats on their mind. Now...in a situation both have the same thoughts. The outspoken one says whats on their mind, while the other one keeps it to themselves. Let's put it this way, the reply is not a really nice one.

Did I just lose you? Haha.

To put it in a nutshell, both parties have the same thoughts, but only one says it out. So, obviously, as human beings you would say that the one who said their mind is mean while the other person is a nice one.

You could say that some people lack a filter to their words.

I have NO idea what I'm trying to point out of all this. Haha.

Pineapple from the tin + Ribena = AWESOME

:D

'Nuff said.

And that is the truth and nothing but the truth.

You may be joking when you say that. But the truth is, it cuts deeper than just being a joke. So much so that I now feel like I can't do it anymore.

Its not fair that you can say and laugh it off as a joke.

Its so unfair that you can just dismiss it and say all those things about me.

What I really want is your praise, encouragement...Anything to help keep me going. I'm already down as it is because of all the doubts I have about myself.

"Was it the right thing to do?"
"Did I make the right decision?"

All those doubts are already deeply rooted within me and all I wanted was encouragement.

Is that too much to ask?

Instead, you start joking about my inability to do and perform well.

Some people would take this in stride and try prove them wrong.
Ever thought that there will always be people who will crash and burn just because of that simple 'joke'?

I'm trying my best to prove you wrong. But if you were to weigh it on a scale, the proving you wrong part is slowly tipping to the other end of the scale.

The crash and burn part.

I really want to prove you wrong. But the more you say and do all these things to me, the less confident I become.

So far, only three people has given me the encouragement that I can do it. And out of those 3, there is 1 I don't really know, and the other 2 are nowhere nearby.

I guess all I want is someone verbally telling me..

"Pei Li. You can do it. So what if they're joking about your abilities. I believe you can do it."

Is that too much to ask?

And that's why I uploaded this temp layout. May or may not keep it. We'll see.

Looks like the only reason I update my blog is when I wanna rant >.<
First up...

Do I look THAT unreliable?

Nobody seems to tell me things. Well...its kinda hurts my pride :p
The people around me prefer telling their secrets and stuff to other people around me. Its not that I mind much. But it does give me the impression that you think I can't keep a secret. And THAT is what really really hurts me. Hehe. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. But it hasn't happened just once. Its happened a few times.

Secondly...

I absolutely hate people who assume I know everything. They just tell me at the last minute or don't let me know at all. In the end, I find it out because someone else just randomly asks me, am I still going for this, do I know about this. Now THAT is that really irks me. Its happened plenty of times and though I don't show it, I really am pissed at that.

Like really pissed.

So therefore, I have an extremely short temper now. I'm pissed as I type this. I'm pissed just thinking about all the times it has happened to me. I'm pissed just trying to think about it.

Shows just how pissed I am.

Anyways, IMU ball a.k.a prom 's this saturday.

@.@

Finally got kinda used to wearing contacts. I didn't take one whole hour to put it on this time! :D

Just 30 minutes.

HEY! Improvement k! :p

I have every right to leave my blog red. :p

I'll change it when I have the time. Haha. No. I don't have the time now. I'd rather be typing junk for you guys to see than changing the layout.

First of all.

Growing up sucks.

Big time.

Major big time.

But hell, its part of life.

So, to anyone who's feeling a little down, you're not alone.
I'm hiding a painful past and present which is nothing to be proud of.

So to a certain someone, who is nicknamed snow white, you're not alone.
Let's strive to do our very best ya? :)

6th March 2010

P.S Yes Steph. I know chap goh mei has come and gone. I'm still not changing it yet :p

The title says it all.

Happy CNY guys :)

They always say that animals are really sensitive to their surroundings and can detect stuff that humans can't. How would you react...if I told you this situation really happened to me?

I was just talking to a friend while standing, when her dog just stood up with the front paws on the couch, to lick my hand?

After that, the dog just walked away.

3rd Feb 2010

Looks like this is but a huge step in growing up.

Separations are inevitable. Just because it will happen and it always happens, doesn't mean we don't feel a thing when it happens.

It always hurts.

No matter how happy a note we leave that person...no matter how much time we've tried to spend with that person before separating...

It always hurts.

On another topic, yes i'm random, sometimes there are things we can't tell because of how well we know that person.

For example...if you have a huge secret...you might feel ok telling it to someone whom you've only known for a year or two. But you would be dead afraid of telling it to someone whom you've known for nearly a decade. Or maybe this just applies to me. Who knows? Why am I afraid?

I'm afraid of rejection. Afraid that the person's point of view will change...just plain afraid that the person won't accept me. So very insecure and afraid...

My best friend told me this though. Sure. But you can also look at it both ways. Its because we're that close...that we know we can tell that person. That person will always be by your side, supporting your decision. Because I'm me. And no one else can replace me.

Also, if your best friend is a true friend through and through, he/she will only leave when you say, goodbye. I don't need you anymore. This was once again said by my friend.
How it really hurt me when I read this sentence. I told myself...I will never say that. Not only will it hurt my friend, it will deeply hurt me. A scar that will never heal. I would be devastated and it would kill me inside.

Well, that's what friends are for afterall. True friends stick with you through thick and thin. True friends would never get closer to you for something. True friends would never simply judge you. And true friends will definitely help you no matter what.

So far, all of my closest friends have gone overseas. Only a few are still around peninsular and another one is about to leave me soon.

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is just another of His will. Its a sign telling me to learn how to stand on my own two feet. No more leaning and being fully dependent on someone else when I'm hurt. I would just have to deal with it. Sure, I can ease the pain by sharing it. But sometimes...I just have to keep it to myself.

Being hurt is a part of growing up. All the sadness and sorrow are also a part of life. Of course, with every action, there's an opposite and equal reaction right? With sadness and sorrow, there's always happiness and hope. Happiness by being truly alive, and hope for a better future.

Also, hope that we will meet again soon.

To all my friends who are overseas, do know that I truly cherished the times we had together. And that I miss you guys everyday. Gone were the days where I can just drop an sms or a phone call asking you guys out. However, with technology, sometimes, it feels like you guys are still in Malaysia.

So here's a wish and prayer. That you guys will stay safe and that we will meet in the near future.

Of course, to Tsing and Lai Mun who are just technically still in Malaysia, the above applies to you :p

Take good care guys :)

Love ya~

:D

27th Jan 2010

Yea...its going to be Feb. I know. Sue me :p

How time flies huh? Just imagine this...

13 years ago, I would be in primary school. Standard 1. I was really small in size and would always be bullied. Not exactly happy memories.

8 years ago and I'm in secondary school. Where I would meet friends whom I trust till this very day.

3 years ago. Started Taylor's.

2 years ago. Final year in Taylor's.

Last year. Started semester 2 in IMU.

Yea...how things have changed. How the people around me have changed.
Guess this is what you call maturity? xD

Or growing up :x

Also sad to see that nobody blogs anymore :x
Am I the only sad one? :p

26th Jan 2010

Tell me...when was the last time you just dropped whatever you were doing, and just stopped to smell the roses? I can proudly say the last time I did was just a few hours ago.

But of course that was just the most recent one :p

The one before this would have been a very very long time ago. Way back to when I was in high school I believe.

Sad huh? I know.

And even in high school itself, I remember it was in lower secondary.

Even sadder >_>

So...remember. We need a break sometimes. Time waits for no one afterall. What's past can no longer return. So many things I could have done...yet..

20th January 2010

Life goes on for all of us. Despite everything that happens to you...despite all the hardships you go through, despite all the hurdles...

Time waits for no man.

So...live your life while you can. As the song Kris Allen goes, " We gotta live like we're dying".

If you have a thought, put it into motion.
If you have something to say, say it immediately, after thinking of the consequences.
If you have something to do, do it immediately. No point pushing it till the last minute right?
If you have something to love, love it with all your heart.
If you have something you miss, go and get it back.

Don't let the day past while you're filled with regrets :)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Can someone help me with blogger? t.t I'm having trouble inserting a background again t.t The blue colour is too...melancholic :x

And I still can't fix the stupid date thing =.=

20th January 2010

My new year starts now!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! xD

Let all the unpleasantness through out the 2 weeks since the 1st January 2010 get flushed out of my system.

11th January 2010

Why is that? I just can't seem to feel any emotions anymore.
I don't feel happy...
I don't feel sad...
I don't feel angry...
I don't feel disappointed...
I don't feel nervous...
I don't feel hate...
I don't feel love...

I just don't anymore. Looking back...I guess I started feeling this way back in form 3. By closing up my heart to everything, I shut everything out.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Aaanyways, I'm on a baking spree! If it weren't for the fact that we still have my brother's birthday cake, plus all the cookies I recently baked...I would have moved on to gingerbread! But yea...=\
Leftovers.

And its all with chocolate chips! I mean...if there weren't any I would have offered some to my dogs :p They LOVE cookies. Haha. But honestly, my baking goes unappreciated in my house =.=

Especially my brother. He keeps complaining and yet he eats it =.=

Grrrr....

Sometimes I just feel so unappreciated =\
But hey, that's just me :p

I know it sounds kinda thick faced to say this but...would anyone like to try when i make another batch? :x

I promise you won't choke >.<

10 Januray 2010

Heh. It sucks being a failure.
But I guess each failure is but a stepping stone in life.

Well...huge day today. Lol. Burnt a huge batch of cookies :(

Went IKEA and bought a new chair~

Too many things happening at once.

*SIGHHHH*

Ah well. Life moves on.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Niways...here's my new year's resolution!

1. To keep my new year's resolution
2. Stop procrastinating
3. Always be on time. Try...aiming to reach the destination 30 minutes before the promised time
4. Stop buying story books until I finish reading all my new ones. *which might never happen*
5. GO JAPAN! :D

Number 5 might not happen this year though :x

8th January 2010